Jealous? Here's how to handle it.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought a part was mine, I’d never have to pay for Starbucks again!
As an actor, it’s common to think a part is yours, only for it not to go your way.
Life as an actor has you putting your craft, your heart, your everything into auditioning for hundreds of roles. That’s means living on a steady diet of disappointment and rejection along with generous side dishes of self-doubt, frustration and often, loneliness.
Ready for the best part?
Just when you think you’ve eaten your last shit sandwich and feel confident that a part is yours, it’ll go to your friend instead. Now imagine it’s not just any role. It a career-changing life enhancing gig.
Sure, there are those Kelly Rowland’s of the world who are instantly happier for their Beyoncé like friends, but it’s possible to go green, see a little red and in severe cases start to feel like they took something from you. But light attracts light. And what is for you will never miss you — easier to said than done and even harder to put into practice.
That green-eyed monster that goes by the name Jealousy isn’t your enemy though. In fact, she’s your teacher.
No, she’s not one of those fun teachers with a glamorous syllabus but it's not a course you need to feel ashamed of taking.
Jealousy can arise from a variety of emotional needs, and it can manifest itself in several different ways.
If you're feeling jealous because your friend is getting more attention than you or they've suddenly become more “successful” than you, those feelings are normal!
Call it out!
Be honest when you feel it. Talk about it. Don’t let it be a silent shame that slowly feeds on you from the inside out. You can feel jealous, and happy for others at same time. True friends can understand and appreciate that.
Give yourself space and time to process how you’re feeling. Don't try to suppress it.
Remember that jealousy is an emotion, not a personality trait.
What you’re feeling can also be a sign that you are not going after something you want, and this experience is shining a big ol’ spotlight on that.
Whether you’re the jealous one or on the receiving end, take a walk through the forest of your judgments to see what’s there, collect anything that's useful and follow the light to forgivenessvill, where you can drop off all those judgments before you get to compassion town.
You’re not a bad person, you’re just struggling with something and need a moment.
So what have we learned?
There are no short-cuts around doing that deep self- explanatory work. Jealousy is an emotion that comes to sit with the best of us, but it doesn't have to be a negative experience. Remember that it'll be okay! You can talk about it. And to always take a little space to process those big feelings in your own time.
You have to always stay vigilant, flexible and challenge yourself to stay positive.
And, you have to learn to be happy for others (as if it were happening for you) with all of your heart or you’ll never survive showbiz.